Lembit Opik, Segway role model
This morning at around 11:20 I set off from the Clear office in Wandsworth Common on a mission: to see if I could get arrested by driving our loaned Segway around central London. Initially encouraged by previous efforts from luminaries such as Lembit Opik and Piers Morgan, I had to admit to feeling slightly nervous. Segways remain technically illegal to use in public in the UK, in spite of being perfectly legitimate in the States, Germany, Italy and used by 400 police divisions worldwide. However the relevant legislation (dating from 1835) has never been enforced, in spite of Lembit blatantly taunting the authorities by driving his up and down outside parliament. Should be fine then.
After half a mile I hit my first problem: the railway bridge at Wandsworth Common. Segways lose their balance on steep slopes and obstacles, including stairs. However apparently its easy if you get off and help them up in power assist mode. Easier still would be turning round and taking the 30 second detour over the road bridge but I’m determined not to be put off. In fact, its a breeze. You do have to pull the machine up, but most of the grunt is taken out of it (just as well – it weighs 43Kg).
By the time I hit Clapham Common I’m on a roll. Trees and people whizz by. The Segway copes well with grass and moderately rough ground, but on concrete paths it really excels. Easy to stop too, which is handy for the Jack Russels and three year olds who appear to be out in force.
In the distance I spot my second problem – a park bench dead ahead with four teenagers sitting on it. Perhaps the most noticeable thing about riding a Segway is the reaction you get from passers by. Some people are amused; most are flabbergasted. These teenagers will probably think I’m a cretin and throw their Buckfast at me. 50 yards and closing and one of them spots me. “What the hell is that?” he yells, then silence. I contemplate evasive action. And then they start laughing. “What a TOY!”, “Wicked!”, “I want one”. The Buckfast stays in its receptacles.
After what seems like 10 minutes, I pass the MI6 building at Vauxhall. Stopping to chat with a cyclist, I wait for the lights to go green on Albert Embankment and before I know it I’m over the Thames and the Houses of Parliament are dead ahead. So far so good.
Then I spot my first policeman. In fact it looks like there’s scores of them. Here we go. I pass by the first two without them realising (Segways don’t make much noise), but then six police officers come into view and can’t fail to notice me. I think of Lembit, stiffen my spine, and trundle forwards majestically (at 4mph). Meanwhile I find myself surrounded by a crowd of American and Japanese tourists, all of whom begin to chorus oohs and aahs and set off their flashes as they take snaps. Instantly I am reminded of the “Come on, what’s the worst thing that could happen?” Dr Pepper adverts as I await the first police whistle and the inevitable pandomonimum.
But it never happened. I simply glided forwards, carefully avoiding the toes and cameras of the straggling mob until it was all behind me. Whitehall was the same. More police outside Downing Street, but no one raised their walkie talkie. Trafalgar Square, Leicester Square, Chinatown, Picadilly: all the same. Eventually my karma is slightly punctured when I high five someone and immediately come close to falling off. Slightly embarassing that.
Once I’d been up and down Oxford Street I noticed that I’d done 8 miles and the battery was half flat. Time to be getting home. I circuited Marble Arch with all the buses and traffic and headed through Knighsbridge for the Fulham Road. By the time I got back to Wandsworth Common the battery was almost flat, I’d been away for 2 hrs and 10 minutes and had covered 15 miles. I plugged the machine back into the mains to recharge and attached Ben’s gadget to measure the juice (and therefore carbon).
So what to make of it all? Well, it does appear that it isn’t just Lembit’s parliamentary privileges that allowed him to pull off that stunt outside parliament. The police really don’t seem interested. But more’s the point it really is an excellent way to travel. It combines the best bits of walking (being able to take in your surroundings) with the speed of public transport and appears to be more fun than either. One set-back – it was so cold today that the first thing I did when I got home was jump in a hot bath, thereby undoing all the carbon savings I made by using the Segway. I’ll wrap up warmer next time.
On a more relevant note from the carbon perspective, Ben is currently analysing the carbon footprint variation between different modes of transport (including Segways, public transport and walking) and will blog on that soon.
The Clear Blog 
You must be logged in to post a comment.